planning a party before there's anything to celebrate

In the movie Prince Caspian, Lucy Pevensie interrupts the battle-planning between Caspian and her brother Peter with what at first seems like an irrelevant comment. She says both Caspian’s plan (to stay put in Aslan’s How and wait out Miraz’s attack) and Peter’s plan (to storm Miraz’s castle) aren’t right, because they are in essence choosing whether they’ll “die here or die there.” Peter responds, “I'm not sure you've really been listening, Lu.” I wondered why she said what she did. Today, I think I understood it.

Earlier today, I was reading about the killing of the firstborn, the Passover and the exodus in Exodus 11, 12 & 13. I’ve read that many times, but as God does so often, He hit me with a new truth in a very familiar passage.

At this point, all but one of the plagues have happened. The final plague has been announced, and still, Pharaoh is unmoved. Furious with Pharaoh’s stubbornness, Moses has just left “hot with anger.”

Right away, God starts giving instructions to Moses about how the Israelites should prepare the Passover meal, put the blood on their doors, and how to commemorate this day – the day that God led them out of Egypt - for generations to come. Think about it! Pharaoh is arrogant beyond belief, hates Moses and the Israelites and their God, and is defiant and unyielding knowing it would cost him the life of his firstborn son... and God has already planned out the victory party.

The Israelites were still under incredible oppression. They were still slaves awaiting deliverance, and in their perspective, nothing Moses had tried had worked. How could Moses instruct them in the commemoration of this miracle when up to this point, Pharaoh had resisted all of God’s other wonders?

First of all, this was not a war with an uncertain outcome. God was the One hardening Pharaoh’s heart in order that the Egyptians and the whole world might see His power. Proverbs 21:1 says, “The king’s heart is in the hand of the LORD; He directs it like a watercourse wherever He pleases.” God was using Pharaoh to accomplish His purposes, and it was time for Pharaoh to yield.

Secondly, Moses knew that he could (and must) rely on God’s word. God had told Moses everything that was going to happen, and it happened exactly as He had said. Why doubt Him now? As the story goes, God’s victory party happened just as He said, and has continued being celebrated throughout the generations, because He planned it all and He always wins.

So, back to Lucy’s comment. Caspian and Peter were facing the battle similarly to how I (and probably a lot of us) often do – with a “die trying” attitude rather than a victorious mindset. Will we always win every battle? I don't think so. But we can win a lot because of Who is on our side, Who controls our destiny and Who holds our rulers’ hearts in His hands. Lucy had it right. Let’s fight, not counting the cost, willing to spend our lives on the battle if needed. But let’s also plan on victory because it’s not up to us anyway, and Aslan always shows up, right on time.

great exploits

Another dilemma I've been grappling with is that Paul tells us that the same power that raised Christ from the dead is at work in us, but if that's the case, where is that power? I don't see it! Ok, I do see it sometimes, but I definitely believe that we as a church are not using that to its full capacity by any stretch of the imagination.
I was talking to my parents on the phone yesterday, and told them what I was struggling with. My question to them was, "How do I learn to cultivate that power?" I know it's available, but I know I'm not taking full advantage of it to change my world for the glory of God. If the church really did use the authority that Jesus made available to us, we would be obviously winning; however, looking around is obviously discouraging.
I thought it would be a complicated answer, one that Dad would have to mull over, and give me pieces of an answer as he figured them out. I was wrong. He read Daniel 11:32b: "The people who know their God shall be strong, and carry out great exploits." It's all about knowing God. It's that simple!
Dad (who is very wise) said the bottom line is that even those who have what we would consider a close relationship with the Lord have so much more to learn about Him. We don't know Him as well as we think we do. Relationship with Him is the most important thing in life. There is so much to God that we will never know Him fully... but the good news is, He wants to be known. He wants to reveal His character, nature and personality to us, if we will only take the time to get to know Him.
If we truly know Him, I believe we would have the courage and faith to do whatever it takes to bring the Kingdom of God to earth, because we love Him. He is a God who loves to restore and redeem what is broken and lost, and reward those who love and serve Him.
What does it say in 1 John 4: 16-18? "And so we know and rely on the love God has for us. God is love. Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in him. In this way, love is made complete among us so that we will have confidence on the day of judgment, because in this world we are like Him. There is no fear in love (~and remember, God IS love~). But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love."
So if we really knew Him, we would have no fear... which would mean we would step out in the power and authority that has already been made available to us, and we would do GREAT EXPLOITS!!
My quest is to get to know Him. I know Him a little bit, I know about Him quite a bit, and I know a lot about serving Him. But my priorities have been mixed up. I need to know Him first. The serving will flow out of that as an act of worship, and because He has prepared good works in advance for us to do (Ephesians 2:10).
I want to do great exploits for Him. It's time to get to know Him!

the arsenic effect

I've done a lot of thinking, evaluating and re-evaluating recently. I have been disappointed and disgusted with some things I have seen in my own life - fear, apathy, resignation to mediocrity, and an unwillingness to step out in faith until I have all the information I need to feel safe.
I was recently introduced to a term that grieved me: "fetus fatigue." This term describes pro-lifers who are tired of fighting. They have chosen to believe that abortion is the norm now... that this is how things are... and so they've given up. It was a good wake up call for me. What have I become fatigued over, and what convictions have I allowed myself to give up on? Not necessarily that they are no longer convictions, but that I don't care deeply enough to do anything sacrificial to change them.
Last weekend I watched "Amazing Grace" for the hundredth time (ok, maybe not that many, but it is one of my all-time favorites). In once scene, Wilberforce reacts strongly to the Duke of Clarence's offer of his slave for payment since he had no more money to gamble. Afterwards, William Pitt comments to Wilberforce that his reaction made it look like he'd never seen slavery before. Wilberforce's answer? "For me it's like arsenic. Each new dose doubles the effect." That conviction changed the world.
That is exactly the kind of deep, heart-consuming conviction I want - I need. I don't want fetus (or any other injustice) fatigue. I want the arsenic effect. I want my heart to be moved, but even more, I want my will to be compelled to action.
I'm starting to pray for a resensitization of my heart. I'm praying for the arsenic effect.

Unsilenced

I love America. (I love a lot of other countries too, and am so blessed to have spent a lot of my life in Uganda and Canada.) I feel honored to have been born an American. I love the way God has blessed America for her values, generosity and sacrifice. I love American history. I love how evident our founding fathers' faith is in all their writings and decisions. I know they were not all Christians, but I strongly believe that a Christian worldview was at the core of even the Deists' beliefs. Read your history - the original documents without the Christian parts removed - and you'll agree.
I love that we recently celebrated Martin Luther King Jr. Day, and the fact that we have come a long way towards racial equality. I love that we care about that, and that brave men and women did something about it.
But there are so many things I don't love about what our country has become. In fact, there are many things I hate. Things that grieve and infuriate me. As one example, American tax money is again being used to fund and promote abortions worldwide! And it hit me - that means that as a tax-paying American citizen, I am a participant in the spread of abortion. Not a willing participant, but a participant nonetheless. God have mercy! I have always been pro-life, and have only ever voted for pro-life leaders and measures. That isn't enough anymore.
There are hundreds of thousands of Americans who value life, but our leaders have the most pro-abortion agenda we've ever seen in America. Why is that? Why if we care so much about life are we losing the fight?
I think we've lost our voice. Not because we don't have one, but because we don't use it. We - conservatives and/or Christians - have been intimidated into silence, or lulled to sleep.
I am sick of being silent. I am done being silent. What is it Jesus said about a light? You don't hide it! We have the light of life! We have a voice with the King of Kings! We must be unsilenced and unhidden! People, let's rise up and make a difference! I refuse to watch from the sidelines. I don't know what my future holds, but this will be a part of it. In what capacity, I'm not sure yet. But God will show me as I seek Him and start walking.
God loves life. He is the Author of life. How can we turn a blind eye when our culture is saturated in death? It's time to revive America!

What it's about

Hi friends! So many thoughts have been crammed inside my head and I need to share. I'm not overly talkative in person, but I tend to have plenty to say when I write. : )
I have been learning so much recently... about myself, my country, my role, the church, its role, and about our Sovereign God. To me there is nothing more encouraging or inspiring than discussing these things with other people - with those who agree and with those who don't - and trying to figure out how to put these ideas into action. So rather than this being the kind of blog that journals my daily life, I'm going to use this as a place I can share what I'm discovering, wrestling with, questioning, and learning.
This is not about me shining. It's about learning and figuring out how God is calling US to shine. To make a difference. To take a stand. To find our voice again. To change our world for His glory!
As I write, I would love to hear your thoughts!