freedom impact

I am thrilled to be in Washington D.C. for the 4th of July weekend! What better place to be?! Independence Day finds me reflecting deeply on the course of our nation - where we are, where we have been and where I wish we were.

My prayer is from one of our finest patriotic songs, "America, America, may God thy gold refine, till all success be nobleness and every gain divine! [...] God shed His grace on thee, till selfish gain no longer stain the banner of the free!" And every year, I realize a little more why we so desperately need God's grace and mercy.

I recently had the privilege of hearing a lecture by former Attorney General John Ashcroft. He implored us to ask in every decision we face - what is the freedom impact? What brings the most freedom will be the right answer for government. The bigger government grows, the more it works its way into the private lives of citizens, the more it regulates tolerance and desensitizes conscience, the more it taxes us and pushes us into debt - the less freedom we have.

Freedom is two-pronged here - we need government for defense and order, and we need Jesus - because where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom.

So that's what I'm praying now - that brave, principled men and women will accomplish great things in bringing reform to our government, and that God would bring an awakening to this country so that we would live by His grace, in His will, with resensitized consciences, in His power, for His glory.

O thus be it ever when freemen shall stand

Between their loved homes and the war's desolation

Blessed with victory and peace, may the heav'n rescued land

Praise the Power that hath made and preserved us a nation!

Then conquer we must, when our cause it is just,

And this be our motto, "In God is our trust!"

And the star-spangled banner in triumph shall wave

O'er the land of the free and the home of the brave!

gender battles

There are many men who are stepping up in the fight for life, but they are caught in a very difficult spot... almost impossible. I watched a news clip in which a male pastor and a pro-abortion woman were discussing pro-life billboards targeting the African American population in a certain area. Gripping, thought-provoking billboards, these offended many people. The lady's scorn for the pastor was evident in the sneer on her face and her condescending, arrogant attitude. They talked on top of each other so much, I'm sure they didn't hear much of what the other was saying. Her final argument? Of course it's a man saying this... it always is...

Of course.

Pro-abortion women look down on pro-life men as being cold-hearted haters. While I don't agree, I understand why they could think that. A man has never experienced abortion, never known the emotional wreckage of that terrible decision personally, never known the deadening of maternal instincts, never endured de-humanizing counseling that makes a precious baby merely a discardable piece of tissue.

Men are created to be protectors and warriors - they should be fighting! They should be gently shedding light on the truth and helping women find help in the middle of their crises. When they do, they endure the mockery and disdain of hurting or defiant women, but many choose to keep fighting anyway. Praise God for them.

I wonder if the main voices in this fight should be women (like AUL's Charmaine Yoest), in order to remove that one very obvious barrier.

On the other hand, I am deeply thankful for the brave men who choose to do the wildly unpopular. We couldn't do this without them.

will we be ready?

I am researching pro-life initiatives in state governments and have been simultaneously encouraged and disappointed. Through my research, I have read so many articles on both sides of the arguments, seeing statistics and details - things that made me feel physically ill because of the grotesque, evil nature of abortion and all it entails. I have learned about brave Congressmen and Governors who have defied the wishes of the current administration and wealthy, influential organizations, by standing up for truth and life, come what may.

Praise Jesus for these heroes, who live out what our country declared from the beginning: "We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness."

The government might try to take away these rights, but because they come from God Himself, they have no authority to do so. For those brave people who recognize this, I pray God's richest blessings, protection and success on all of them.

More and more, I am realizing that this fight is not a single issue - it's not pro-life vs. pro-abortion only. What about the mothers who don't want their babies? Those who don't think they could give their babies a good life? Those who are ashamed? Those who are pressured to go through with abortion? Those who think they have no other choice? Those victimized by human trafficking? What about broken families whose dysfunction contributes to the problem of promiscuity and crime, teenage pregnancy and abortion? What about those who regret their choices? What about the fathers who live with guilt? The fathers who forced the mothers to just deal with it and get rid of it?

If Roe v. Wade was ever overturned - and I will not stop praying for that day - what happens to these people? Will the church step up and help carry the burden? Will we reach out to the scared, the trapped? Will we love the children no one else wants? Will we give unwed mothers a safe place to live and be restored? Will we fight for marriage and families so that kids grow up with strong values and a respect for values and life? Will we be their alternative choice? Will we be ready for that day?

I think that's what God intended all along.

I desperately want us to be ready. I ache for people to see beyond the politics and money and struggle for power, and instead, to see love, compassion and a better way. The fight for life spills over into every arena - individuals, families, churches, corporations and government.

God, show us our niche, our role in this fight for our lives.

so many questions

Today, I walked through the Supreme Court, sat in the court room and saw various displays honoring the men and women who have served as US Supreme Court Justices. What I felt was a mix of very contradictory emotions - I was incredibly humbled to be in a place where history has been made by so few men and women; I was thrilled to think of the cases decided here that have advanced values and freedom; I was enraged by the honor given to those who have decided cases in defiance of the Constitution and our American values; I was hopeful that the work in that place is not yet finished - history is still in the making and God is still on the throne.

I didn't have much to say after we left. There was too much to think about, so much I still can't put into words.

I want to go back, again and again. I want to pray there. I want to be a part of battles fought there - how, I don't know yet.

There is so much I don't know. So many questions remain unanswered. What is my role? Of what use are my gifts and passions? Where can I be the most useful in God's Kingdom and for restoring America - even if it is something small and behind-the-scenes? What does this mean for school? Am I on the right track or is there a better route? Is it okay that I'm getting a late start - that I'm older than my bosses and still have no clue? What is the best way to prepare for a future I don't know anything about? Will I leave my internship this summer with any questions answered? Will my broad focus have been narrowed and clarified at all?

Can my heart be at rest in God's sovereignty if I don't get any answers?

I know the answer to that question.

Yes.

I might not have the answers, but He does. I might have passion, but His is overwhelmingly greater. My heart might break over the sin in our country, but He already sacrificed everything to pay the penalty for our rebellion. He has all the answers, bound up in more love and grace than I can fathom. When it is time to know something, He will make sure I don't miss it. My anxious thoughts don't trouble or surprise Him, but they don't please Him either. I want my heart to be at rest, fully trusting my Father who has already written my story with all its twists and turns. He is reliable. And He is good.

Order My Steps

I’m back, after more than 2 years, after living in 8 different places, working 3 different jobs and mostly not having a clue what in the world God was doing with me.

There’s something to be said for merely being along for the ride, not knowing where my foot is going to land until it does, for adventure and disappointments and risks and spontaneity and courage, for this crazy journey. There is also something to be said for stability and purposeful intent, for goals and consistency, long term planning, determination and dedication.

I’ve always preferred the latter, but usually lived out the former. Apparently, God likes to keep me guessing, flexible and at His disposal. Or maybe I’m not listening well enough, and He is actually telling me things that I don’t hear until the last minute. Maybe I hear it then simply because He’s gracious enough to make sure I don’t entirely miss out on what He has planned for me.

This season seems to be a mix of spontaneous and long term vision. I have no idea where it will lead, but I know that God does not waste anything - experiences, encounters or lessons. I desperately want to learn everything, meet everyone and do all He wants me to - nothing more and nothing less.

“Open my eyes and I shall see. Incline my heart and I shall desire. Order my steps and I shall walk in the ways of Your commandments.”

planning a party before there's anything to celebrate

In the movie Prince Caspian, Lucy Pevensie interrupts the battle-planning between Caspian and her brother Peter with what at first seems like an irrelevant comment. She says both Caspian’s plan (to stay put in Aslan’s How and wait out Miraz’s attack) and Peter’s plan (to storm Miraz’s castle) aren’t right, because they are in essence choosing whether they’ll “die here or die there.” Peter responds, “I'm not sure you've really been listening, Lu.” I wondered why she said what she did. Today, I think I understood it.

Earlier today, I was reading about the killing of the firstborn, the Passover and the exodus in Exodus 11, 12 & 13. I’ve read that many times, but as God does so often, He hit me with a new truth in a very familiar passage.

At this point, all but one of the plagues have happened. The final plague has been announced, and still, Pharaoh is unmoved. Furious with Pharaoh’s stubbornness, Moses has just left “hot with anger.”

Right away, God starts giving instructions to Moses about how the Israelites should prepare the Passover meal, put the blood on their doors, and how to commemorate this day – the day that God led them out of Egypt - for generations to come. Think about it! Pharaoh is arrogant beyond belief, hates Moses and the Israelites and their God, and is defiant and unyielding knowing it would cost him the life of his firstborn son... and God has already planned out the victory party.

The Israelites were still under incredible oppression. They were still slaves awaiting deliverance, and in their perspective, nothing Moses had tried had worked. How could Moses instruct them in the commemoration of this miracle when up to this point, Pharaoh had resisted all of God’s other wonders?

First of all, this was not a war with an uncertain outcome. God was the One hardening Pharaoh’s heart in order that the Egyptians and the whole world might see His power. Proverbs 21:1 says, “The king’s heart is in the hand of the LORD; He directs it like a watercourse wherever He pleases.” God was using Pharaoh to accomplish His purposes, and it was time for Pharaoh to yield.

Secondly, Moses knew that he could (and must) rely on God’s word. God had told Moses everything that was going to happen, and it happened exactly as He had said. Why doubt Him now? As the story goes, God’s victory party happened just as He said, and has continued being celebrated throughout the generations, because He planned it all and He always wins.

So, back to Lucy’s comment. Caspian and Peter were facing the battle similarly to how I (and probably a lot of us) often do – with a “die trying” attitude rather than a victorious mindset. Will we always win every battle? I don't think so. But we can win a lot because of Who is on our side, Who controls our destiny and Who holds our rulers’ hearts in His hands. Lucy had it right. Let’s fight, not counting the cost, willing to spend our lives on the battle if needed. But let’s also plan on victory because it’s not up to us anyway, and Aslan always shows up, right on time.

great exploits

Another dilemma I've been grappling with is that Paul tells us that the same power that raised Christ from the dead is at work in us, but if that's the case, where is that power? I don't see it! Ok, I do see it sometimes, but I definitely believe that we as a church are not using that to its full capacity by any stretch of the imagination.
I was talking to my parents on the phone yesterday, and told them what I was struggling with. My question to them was, "How do I learn to cultivate that power?" I know it's available, but I know I'm not taking full advantage of it to change my world for the glory of God. If the church really did use the authority that Jesus made available to us, we would be obviously winning; however, looking around is obviously discouraging.
I thought it would be a complicated answer, one that Dad would have to mull over, and give me pieces of an answer as he figured them out. I was wrong. He read Daniel 11:32b: "The people who know their God shall be strong, and carry out great exploits." It's all about knowing God. It's that simple!
Dad (who is very wise) said the bottom line is that even those who have what we would consider a close relationship with the Lord have so much more to learn about Him. We don't know Him as well as we think we do. Relationship with Him is the most important thing in life. There is so much to God that we will never know Him fully... but the good news is, He wants to be known. He wants to reveal His character, nature and personality to us, if we will only take the time to get to know Him.
If we truly know Him, I believe we would have the courage and faith to do whatever it takes to bring the Kingdom of God to earth, because we love Him. He is a God who loves to restore and redeem what is broken and lost, and reward those who love and serve Him.
What does it say in 1 John 4: 16-18? "And so we know and rely on the love God has for us. God is love. Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in him. In this way, love is made complete among us so that we will have confidence on the day of judgment, because in this world we are like Him. There is no fear in love (~and remember, God IS love~). But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love."
So if we really knew Him, we would have no fear... which would mean we would step out in the power and authority that has already been made available to us, and we would do GREAT EXPLOITS!!
My quest is to get to know Him. I know Him a little bit, I know about Him quite a bit, and I know a lot about serving Him. But my priorities have been mixed up. I need to know Him first. The serving will flow out of that as an act of worship, and because He has prepared good works in advance for us to do (Ephesians 2:10).
I want to do great exploits for Him. It's time to get to know Him!